It's Raining

It's October the 8th and we have just had the first rains of the winter. It couldn't have come at a worse time as it's the Pink Ribbon Golf Competition of Sunday 10th, tomorrow and the forecast is not good.
As usual in Portugal, when it rains, it falls by the skip full and I have just found out that the one flat roof I have, has 100mm of water trapped on it because the drain is blocked, always wanted a roof top swimming pool.
However, its still 23 degrees and we still haven't put the heating on.

The kittens managed to find a dry spot and decided to sleep the storm out, until I came along with the camera that is and disturbed their siesta.

Red Palm Weevil

Red Palm Weevil

There is an increasing number of Phoenix palm trees in The Algarve that are being killed off by the Red Palm Weevil, in fact palm trees across the whole of the Iberian peninsular are in danger of becoming infected, so far mine are weevil free.
Apparently the little bug(gers) arrived in 1994 and has been destroying Phoenix palm trees ever since. Now it has increased to such an extent that the local councils have started to put pheromone traps in the trees to try to catch them.

Getting Old

A message for those of us that are getting old.



Bugger it................


I've forgotten what it was.

Captain's Day

As I keep saying, these Taylor Made golf clubs are the dogs whotsits.

Last week was Captain's Day @ Parque da Floresta and with the help of my new Taylor Made Burner golf clubs, I was awesome. So much so that the clubs and I amassed 38 stableford points. This was enough to take first place and winning a Callaway golf bag and another cut in my handicap, which makes it a reduction of over 5 shots since I had the clubs only 3 months ago.

Still waiting for Monte to give me a ring and a late call up for the Ryder Cup squad but so far the phone has been quiet.

Played again on Wednesday and I was crap but had an excuse, had a tummy bug and didn't feel well.

Harrison's first day at school

Harrison Starts School

Meanwhile back in the UK, Harrison started school and today was his first day. He was very proud of his uniform, I hope the hat isn't part of it, bless.

Time to neck the parrot

Major trauma at Whittaker Towers, the spin dryer has packed up and had to be sent away, fortunately the sun is still shinning so my best undies can dry outside.
The freezer part of the fridge freezer has packed up and we are waiting for a spare part to arrive and to top it all, The Kittens have had great fun in scratching through the fly screen and ripped the netting and Dino - for the third time has found his way into the utility kitchen, got inside the washing machine (because the owner of the washing machine has left the bloody door open again) and chewed through the rubber door seal, now there's water everywhere. I think the parrot needs to go on a rinse hold then fast spin, that will sort him.

The Bandits Strike Again

It was exactly 12 months ago that Lynette had her purse stolen from her handbag and this week some friends had her handbag stolen too and the bandits get so brazen.
Our friend had called at the local cashpoint and put the cash in her handbag which she then put behind the drivers seat in the car on the floor. As her husband as driving, they then made another stop at a another supermarket some 10 kilometres away and whilst hubby went into the supermarket and Mrs Hubby remained in the car listening to the radio, the cheeky bastards opened the rear car door (which had now become unsecured from the central locking because hubby had got out) and quietly lifted the handbag and scarpered and no one saw or heard a thing.
Fortunately the handbag was recovered by a local Portuguese farmer the following day in a field as he was tending his sheep and goats and he was able to contact our friend and return the handbag, which had obviously been cleaned out of the valuable stuff.
They figured that they had been targeted at the cashpoint in the area of Lidl's supermarket in Vila do Bispo and followed to the supermarket in Budens when they made their strike.
It is not the first time that Lidl's in Vila do Bispo has been the spot where the bandits select their target and remove contents from their car. Last month a couple were asking for bogus directions to somewhere whilst the other persons then took whatever was on show inside their car.
In fact, it was Lidl's in Lagos that Lynette lost here purse last year and I think its about time that Lidl's took more responsibility and got Carlos the useless security guard that walks the floor inside Lidl's shops, should get his arse outside and made himself more useful.
Needless to say, all those concerned are pretty sure that the perpetrators, (I like that word), were of Eastern European origin.

Morgan's on the prowl, look out Tiger

After only his 4th competition, Morgan is on the Golf European Money list after coming second in the last junior competition of the summer at Parque da Floresta Golf Club. Although his 10 euro winnings is not enough to get him into Colin Mongomerie's Ryder Cup squad, he was absolutely over the moon to be in the prize money for the first time.

My friend Bob's youngest sister was 50 last week and she had a BBQ to remember.
Bob is the eldest of a large family originally from The Wirrall, Liverpool. Various brothers & sisters and their children came over from the UK and one brother, Brian came all the way from Australia to help "Our Cathy" celebrate.
Bob being "the organiser" had set up a pig roast for the barby and the fun was to kick off at about 4pm. We thought that we would give it time to "warm up" and arrived at around 4:45pm.
We had only been there a couple of minutes and hadn't even had time for a first drink when we were introduced to the pig roast. The pig wasn't up to saying a lot and looked pretty browned off with the experience as his master, "Carlos the roaster" was happily basting away. What hapless Carlos hadn't realised was that he had set his roasting equipment a little too close to the foliage of the adjoining garden behind a dividing wall. Still with no drink in hand, I asked, is there someone next door also having a BBQ on the other side of that wall", as I could see flames and plenty of smoke beginning to appear.
In a surreal moment from jokingly looking at the fire over the wall, we quickly realised that the whole place was about to go up in flames. Within a matter of seconds the tinder dry bushes was up in flames as everyone scattered fetching anything that held water. The nearest thing at hand was a number of large plant pots which of course had holes in the bottom and when filled with water emptied before we could get to the fire. A hosepipe was quickly found, but I could have peed faster that the water emerged from the end of the pipe.
Carlos the roaster with mobile phone in hand was by now dialing 112 and summoning the Bombeiros.
In between time, the flames were getting higher and higher, from somewhere, proper buckets appeared (without holes)as people filled them from the swimming pool and emptied them onto the flames. By now the fire has really taken hold and the buckets of water were doing little as people were unable to get close enough to throw the water due to the extensive heat.
Suddenly a large fire extinguisher appeared, followed by another and then another, just as the sound of the bombeiros sirens could be heard in the distance.
Wielding one of the extinguishers, Alan, a brother of Bob tackled the flames which were now over 12 foot high. Amazingly after a quick burst, the extinguisher did its stuff and along with the other guys wielding their weaspons, the flames seemed to be out and under control, only for the odd ember to simmer and relight. By this time a proper hosepipe with more pressure was on hand to dowse the remaining flames and completely soak the surrounding areas.

On the left a Bombeiros fire fighter, or is it a taliban terrorist, checking out the damage,

At this point the bombeiros cavalry were on hand just as the flames had been put out.
As you can imagine, Portugal being a very dry country (mostly) and is always on high alert at this time of year for any fires that become a problem. The next thing we know is that we have really hit the jackpot as there is a bombeiros helicopter above scouring the area immediately close by for any sparks that have blown further afield. The helicopter does a number of passes as he relays the information to the bombeiros guys below.
By now we also have a compliment of police who have arrived and are looking for those responsible.
Fortunately, one of the guests is solicitor Maria Dias who is quickly summoned to the investigation to help Cathy explain. This seemed to have a calming effect on the proceedings as the police were seen to be occasionally smiling, always a good sign but probably as they had handed out the fine ticket.

Hapless Carlos on the right, tries to explain to the Bombeiros why he put a pig roast with open flames next to dry undergrowth and over hanging trees.

By now its just after 5pm and everything is under control.
At this point, the man who always likes to be in control, my friend Bob, suddenly arrives at the party, wondering what all the fuss was about. The only comment he could make was, "I thought this was a birthday party, not a house warming".

Happy Birthday Our Cathy.

I have been getting nagged for a few weeks now about getting the windows cleaned.
As I am not prepared to fork out the 120 euros the robbing bugger charges, I said that I would do them myself, hence the nagging.
As you will appreciate, this is a highly skilled operation which can only be done when the wind is in the right direction and also working as the sun moves from east to west. I therefore have to start in the morning on the est side and finish later in the day when the east windows are in the shade.
All was going well and I was being very careful so that I would leave no streaks. With only a couple of windows left, I felt my back twinge. Being ever so careful and wanting to finish off, I gingerly carried on.
By the side of one of the windows we have a terracotta garden clock and just as I was finishing the last window, I was suddenly attacked by a swarm of wasps, which flew out from behind the clock. In panic I moved suddenly, jolted my back and put a disc out. In the process of stumbling away harassed by wasps, I got stung 5 times, twice on the leg, twice on the arm and once on my chin, little bastards.

So no golf today as I can hardly walk.
It will be interesting tomorrow as I fly to the UK to collect the grandchildren to bring them back to Portugal for a few weeks while Lynette stays here to parrot sit.

I'm still not paying to have the windows cleaned, better luck next time when I will wear my back support, as for the wasps they are all dead, except for the ones making a nest in one of the birds house and the ones that a making a nest in the cracks in the walls and the ones .......................

Had special dispensation from Ayatolla Hodson today to play early before the rest of the field in the Wednesday Texas Scramble golf competition due to going to Cathy's birthday party later in the afternoon, (you must read the later blog on Cathy's party). This meant that we were first to finish and therefore, leaders in the clubhouse.
And there we stayed all day long right until after the last team came in and we were still leaders in the clubhouse coming first in the competition, winning a fantastic 20 euros for each member of my team and only just behind Tiger in the overall winners money list, awesome.

Had a grand day out this week on a canoe.
A number of us got together and hired a canoe on Thursday which sailed from Portimao and headed up the Rio Arade for an hour to Silves taking in the local sites, grotto's, a sardine factory flamingo's, hundreds of storks and a trip around the harbour.
We didn't have to paddle the canoe as it had its own engine with Cap'n Carlos and his cabin boy at the helm complete with his own Vuvuzela. All the wine we could drink was provided along with some water to kill the taste, (it wasn't so bad). Those smarter ones amongst us also took along some beer and some more favourable wine.
Once in Silves we stopped for a couple of hours taking in a late lunch at a local restaurant and of course some more wine.
Two hours later, we staggered back to the boat for the return journey and a little more wine.



This is Lynette convincing herself that she isn't feeling sea-sick.

Boat trip 16 euros each, restaurant bill 26 euros a couple, priceless.

I don't believe that I have mentioned buying myself a new set of golf clubs. My good friend Liz said to me sometime ago, that if your opponent has invested in new technology and you are still using equipment that is 5-6 years old, then you are potentially already shots down against your opponent. Well she has proven to be absolutely correct as I have invested in some new Taylor Made Burner clubs and woods. I have only used them 4 times, 2 of which were in competitions. The 1st time time I scored 39 points and was cut 1 shot from my handicap, the second time I scored 42 points playing from my new handicap and was cut a further 1.8 shots, I was bloody awesome.

That was by far the worst performance of ANY football team in ANY league in ANY game that I have ever been unfortunate enough to watch.
Three Liona my Bum, I have 3 kittens here that would have shown more gutts than that shower.

After the last blog saying that we only had one kitten, plenty of brothers and sisters have now shown up and we have five in total, all looking more or less the same. Mowgli herself is getting braver and we are now able to touch her, but still getting a hiss off when we do, although she freely wraps herself around your legs. The kittens scatter back under the shrubs as soon as they see a human.


We had a few uninvited guests/pests this morning as the gypo's moved onto the land looking for snails. It hardly seems worth the effort as most of the snails are no bigger than your little finger nail and they spend the best part of 2 hours getting less than half a bucket full in the blazing hot sunshine and then another 2 hours winkling them out to eat, yuk. Apparently they are very tasty at this time of year as they pick them from the wild tarragon plants where they have been feeding so they then taste of aniseed, I think I'll stick to aniseed balls from the corner shop.

As mentioned in previous blogs about last winters weather and the incessant rain in Portugal, people kept telling me that the weather in the UK was worse and there has been plenty of rain also in the UK. Whilst Portugal does not have a clue how to manage many things they do know how to manage water. A new dam in the Alentejo region of Portugal (just north of the Algarve) was finished last year and was predicted to take 4-5 years to fil at the normal rainfall ratel, it filled in just under 12 months and I have just read that some areas of the UK have a hose pipe ban, told you it was wet.

Had great idea a couple of weeks ago, I thought to myself, I know I'll clean the windows. Being an absent minded old fart, I gave the windows a real good clean and they sparkled in the sunshine. Now one week later with grandchildren out here, I have more hand & finger prints than they have at Scotland Yard, I realised that it wasn't such a good idea after all, bless 'em.
And another thing, while I'm being a grumpy old grandpa, it dosen't matter which toilet I choose, I have yet to go without finding pee all over the toilet seat. Why can't boys be taught to lift the seat before they have a pee, never mind putting it back down again for the girls when you have finished, the girls never lift it back up again ready for us chaps, which would solve my problem.
Anyway, it was great having them and doing the things that we wouldn't normally do, like going to the beach, having a picnic in the forest, going to the zoo, wiping their bum when the call comes from the toilet, "I've done a poo".
They have now all gone home now and the place is very quiet, I was OK saying goodbye until Harrison said in the car on the way to the airport, "I'm going to miss you Grandpa", blub, blub.

Its all happening at the moment, the birds and the bees are very busy and unfortunately the wasps too as I have found a number of wasp nests around the garden.
The better nests that I have found are this one which belongs to a family of Woodchat Shrikes, apparently a species in decline. There were 6 babies in this nest and it was a bit crowded, I took this picture 2 days before they fledged. On the left is Dad Woodchat Shrike watching over the nest.
We also have Greenfinches and Goldfinches nesting in the conifers just outside the lounge door. I have put up a number of nest boxes but there is nothing in any of them, they all obviously prefer natural furnishings.

Mowgli the moggie has been very busy too. Last week we saw her chasing and eventually catching a rabbit/hare and then dragging it back to her babies, the prey was bigger than she was but she somehow managed it. It would have been a good time to follow her but we were otherwise indisposed. However, just 2 days ago we heard a different kind of meow and found her with a single kitten, emerging from the rocks down by the swimming pool, just need to catch them both now and take them to the vets for de-flowering.

Mum on guard watching over Lucky, lucky she didn't get eaten by the mongoose, or with ears like that, perhaps we should call her Bat Cat.

Result, sold the motorhome on ebay last week and got £2,000 more than a UK dealer was offering, less eBay's £43 fee. Trouble is, the geezer that bought it, (knowing from the very start as stated in the advert, that it was in Portugal), insisted on me taking it back to the UK pronto and as Niuck & Justine, Harrison & Finlay were coming out the following Tuesday, and I didn't want to miss being away while they were here in Portugal. So with some hasty arranging, I left Portugal Thursday afternoon to catch the overnight ferry from Santander to Portsmouth on Saturday, arriving back in Loughborough at 5:30pm Sunday. Handed the motorhome over to the geezer, who was from Bewdley, on Monday, got the bankers draft(he was a kind of a banker as well), he was most indignant that I wasn't going to fill the fuel tank with diesel for him to get home, t*ss*r.
Anyway, I already had his £1000 deposit before I left Portugal, so he had two choices, I left with the *anker's draft, sorry banker's draft for the difference, he had to stop and get some fuel on the way home.
It was quite funny when he left, as he had already told me that he was a driving instructor, obviously not a very good one as he failed to check if the motorhome was in gear, turned the key and oooops, a big jerk forward.
So, that was that and then on Tuesday caught the flight out to Portugal with Nick & the gang, complete round trip 5 days, me totally knackered.
Spent the following 2 days sleeping, going to the beach, playing with the boys and getting sunstroke.
Spent the next 3 days with the shivvers, cold then hot sweats, a kidney infection and feeling totally sh*te, but I was a complete martyr and wouldn't go to the doctors. I still have the cold sweats but at least I am now recovering.

Had Jose the JCB in this week continuing with digging a trench/moat around the perimeter of the land in an effort to make it more difficult for would be bandits who may have an eye for a visit and make a clearer defined boundary.
I think Jose was trained on the BP rigs in the Gulf as he has ripped through the bore hole pipeline and now we have water everywhere. It won't be an environmental disaster providing my plants don't suffer, meaning that I probably have about 3 days to get it repaired, which should be a dam site quicker than BP could manage.

Damage repaired, plants & garden safe.

May 14th 2010

Dino had an away-day today and went to the NECI special needs school in Prai da Luz to see the students. There are about 25 of them all with varying degrees of age and disability
Dino was brilliant and let each and every one of them have a turn at holding and stroking him and of course having their photograph taken with him, he'll do anything for a few nuts.
It was very special to see the reaction on their faces with only one who wasn't so keen but he still had a go.
Lynette did a bit of an introduction and presentaion and asked if anyone knew what kind of things Dino would eat (with an inturpreteur), expecting a reply of "nuts" or whatever that is in Portuguese. These students are smart, especially when one replied "food".
Next time we are taking the students horse riding.