Swan Lake

I'm not one for sending circular emails, especially when they are about ballet of all things, but I received this one last week which I thought was absolutely fantastic and at 4 minutes long was just about the length of ballet that I could stand.
It really is amazing, give a go and click on the link below;

http://www.nzwide.com/swanlake.htm

Portugal's Ace Reporter

Whilst the local English newspaper, the Portugal News is not the bestest writ, like wot my blog is, news offering in the world, it does offer us expats a modicum of an insight as to what is happening in Portugal, especially if you want to know about the weekly diary of Milo the dog, or about the many dogs and kittens are waiting to be re-homed or in this case, the increasing crime that is sweeping across the Algarve. This latest story caught my eye;

A British citizen who until Tuesday morning this week had been presumed dead by the police has emerged alive but reportedly mutilated and tortured after managing to escape from a house in the Algarve where he had been held captive for the past two weeks over an unpaid drug debt.

The British national, who has been identified as James Ross, 26, reportedly a married father-of-two from Wicks, Caithness, was kidnapped by a group of fellow Brits immediately after he landed at Faro Airport on October 5th.

Prior to his escape the case was being investigated by PJ police and all indications pointed to the man having been kidnapped and murdered.

After managing to flee from his place of captivity (a house near Boliqueime, Loulé), with the help of a passer-by who found him stumbling throughout the streets of Alfontes village, he was taken to an undisclosed hospital for treatment. The man is believed to have been kept “tied up and very mistreated.”

National newspaper Correio da Manhã (CM) claims Ross was held captive after being lured to the Algarve to pay off a £10,000 unpaid drug-deal debt owed to a man identified as John Mclean.

He was allegedly told he could pay off the debt by working on a cannabis farm, but was subjected to the horrific ordeal practically straight after touching down in Faro.

Police will question him about the circumstances surrounding the incident during his stay in hospital.

According to a PJ source the man was partially mutilated on one ear, Lusa News Agency reported.

A different source told Lusa that a Scottish man was being treated in a regional hospital for a partly-cut ear and a wound to a finger, and that the man had been escorted to the hospital by GNR officers.

Regional newspaper Observ-atório do Algarve reported the man, who they identified as a 26-year-old Scotsman, had had an ear, finger and 3 toes amputated, two broken legs and that he has been tortured.

...... "and that he had been tortured", bloody hell, I think that was a bit of an understatement.

Sorry about the glitch in the best joke of all time, I've fixed it now, keep scrolling down for joke.

The Man Who Never Was

I was surprised to hear whilst on our recent trip to Spain, a number of our friends had never heard of "The Man Who Never Was" or Glyndwyr Martin to give him his proper name.
It is a World War II story, code named "Operation Mincemeat", that has always fascinated me about how the Brits launched a man from a submarine carrying Top Secret information about invasion plans, in an effort to deceive the Germans.
Glwndwyr's body was eventually washed ashore near Huelva Spain, where he was subsequently buried after much investigating and meddling from the Spanish and of course Herman the German.
I had wanted to find the gravestone for many years, so on the way back from Spain and very close to Huelva, I set out in search of the cemetery and then the gravestone.
Finding the cemetery was easy, the gravestone was like looking for the proverbial needle in the haystack. The cemetery was pristine with row after row of headstones and crypts all kept in wonderful condition.


Obviously looking like a tourist and standing out like a sore thumb from those tending the graves of loved one's, we were about to give up and was approached by a fellow Brit who knew exactly what we were looking for as he had spent the last hour do exactly the same thing. He in turn had been spotted by yet another Brit who knew exactly where the gravestone was. So he escorted my new friend who in turn escorted me, result, the gravestone of Glyndwyr Martin, "The Man Who Never Was".





The full story can be found @ http://www.themanwhoneverwas.com/

Best joke of all time

Best Joke of All Time

As reported in the Daily Mail the other day, this joke was voted the best of all time;

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'

The man says: 'You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'

Gonzalez Byass

During the trip to Spain, Jerez to be more precise, I thought it was important that we should sample some of the local vinho. So all 20 of us enjoyed a trip to Gonzalez Byass, the home of Tio Pepe and now also Croft Original Sherry.
It appears that some of the crowd are secret sherry drinkers, and I thought it was a drink that only grannies had.
Do you remember going to the local Berni Inn for a treat on someones birthday, "What would you like to drink granny, oooh, I'll have a schooner of sherry please and make sure its a large one young man", would I dare do any other.

Our tour guide fancied himself as a bit of a comedian, he had a sense of humour that was dryer than the Tio Pepe he was talking about. He told us about the little Spanish mouse who comes out each night from behind the sherry casks to sample the latest brew of which they leave him a glass to drink from and a ladder to make it easier for him to reach the top of the glass, and of course a few peanuts to help it down, sad buggers.

More interesting was that when they had a famous person visit the bodega, they dedicated a cask of their recently brewed beverage and got them to sign the barrel, there were hundreds of them, here are just a few, the first one is the famous dummy spitting Spaniard, Fernando Alonso, the second is my hero and a far better racing driver, Ayrton Senna and the third one is everyone's hero, unless you are a German that is, Winston Churchill.

We enjoyed a nice trip around the vineyard on the Gonzalez Byass Express, finishing off with some sampling of their finest, which their were very tight with, we needed more samples.

Monetcastillo, Spain

Sometime back in July we decided, we would like to go to Spain to play some golf at the end of the holiday season. That being the case, we asked a couple of friends if they would like to join us and they said that they thought it was a great idea and would love to come.
So we searched the interweb and found what we thought was a fantastic deal, which turned out to be around 50 euros a night, full board and unlimited golf in a 5 Star hotel in Jerez, Spain, brilliant.
With such a great deal on offer, the word spread and our couple of friends turned into a dozen and a dozen soon turned into 20, that was when we had to close the door and say no more.

Unfortunately the time we chose to go away was about the time that the golf club captain has his golfing trip away, and we were being dubbed by some as the "Alternative Captain's Away
Weekend", but the original 6 were never joining that party anyway and it was never meant as an alternative, my apologies to Mr Captain if it was ever seen that way.


Just 2 days before we were due to leave, the tour operator Golf da la Luz, emailed us to inform us that the hotel had doubled booked and we would not be staying in a 5 star hotel but in the 4 star hotel, part of the Montecastillo resort next door. This turned out to be a total rouse, I later found out from the hotel manager, that we were never intended to stay in the 5 star hotel, we were always staying in the 4 star one and Golf da la Luz knew this all the time. Strangely, Golf da la Luz did this to us 2 years ago at a different resort, again using the same ploy. So if you choose the same company to organise any trip for you, beware, Dan the man at Golf da la Luz is about as much use as a bike in San Francisco and not to be trusted.
However, away we went, all 20 of us to Montecastillo near Jerez, Spain. I had been there twice previously about 10 years ago and at the time the course was on the European Tour as part of the Volvo Masters series and obviously was in fantastic condition. Today, perhaps due to the economic climate, the course and the whole area is a shadow of its former self.







Allan Pooley offering Lynette some advice, yeah right

Having said that, everyone played some good golf, some better than others, some found the course very long, which it is. The greens were lightening quick, which suited me, but obviously didn't suit me enough as I could only manage second place in the better ball with my partner, Gloria Pooley.

This is me with Gloria, can you spot the village idiot.

Winners of the pairs better ball competition,

Linda Anthony & Dave Bredo

...............and if all else fails, try table tennis.


David Haddon & Steve Collingwood closely watched by the net cord judge and umpire, Glynis Bredo.

Parrot Sitters UK Branch

Meet Paul (little Jimmy) & Alison, who flew in from the UK to parrot sit while we went on a jolly to play some golf in Spain.
We have known little Jimmy, literally from the day he was born 30 years ago when he came into the world as our next door neighbour. As he grew up Paul would inevitably get in to trouble and his mum would tell him off. We always knew when this happened as we would see this little blond head bobbing up and down across our bay window and one of us would comment, "Jimmy's in trouble again, he's on his way round", where he would find comfort in a few custard creams and a bag of whotsits.
As soon as he was big enough, I enrolled him along with my boys in the (Nottingham Forest) Junior Reds. Paul never grew in height until much, much later on and I was still shoving him through the Junior Reds gateway at half price when he was 18, happy days, Forest even won a few games as well, how times change.

Pink Ribbon

It's October, that can mean only one thing, it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month across the world and Portugal is no different.
For the past 10 years, we have been raising money for Breast Cancer Awareness in the Algarve and this year very poignantly, the Pink Ribbon Golf Tournament at Parque da Floresta was held on 10th of the 10th of the 10th and if you are reading this too early in the morning, I mean 10th October 2010.
Over the years, in conjunction with the Parque da Floresta Charity fund, we have managed to raise over 80,000 euros which has all gone to Mamamaratona, Associacao Oncologica do Algarve.
Checking the weather forecast 7 days before the competition, it didn't look good. However just as at Celtic Manor last week, for the Ryder Cup, there is nothing that we could do, we just had to get on with it. Checking the forecast every day didn't help as it never changed one bit and sure enough on the Friday before the Sunday competition, it bucketed it down followed by the same on Saturday.
On the Sunday we began with sunshine followed by several sharp bust's but nearly 80 golfers were supportive enough to brave the conditions, after all its only water and you can only get soooooooooooo wet.
At around 11am in glorious Algarve sunshine, the golf got underway, with the format being a better ball stableford competition. Finally at around 6pm and several downpours later, the final group came in, the scores could be checked and the results announced.
Yours truly and the chief organiser of the Pink Ribbon, Mrs Lynette, managed to follow up last years second place with third place, winning a fabulous set of lead crystal glasses, probably the same set that we won for second place last year. My good friend Bob Kelly suggested that if we put the glasses as a 1st place prize, we could finally get rid of them as we had no chance of winning, well he used to be a good friend.





In second place this year, with a score of 44 points was Pete & Debbie Lanario who was over the moon at winning her first golf prize.
The winners with a fantastic score of 45 points was the formidable Portuguese pairing of Julio Marcela & Chico Borges, I think they both looked pleased as well.
Along with raffles, auctions and name the Doggie, which spookily was won by the same person as last year Louise Gemmell, (who kindly donated the Doggie back for auction), the total money raised on the day was just short of 3,000 euros, another fantastic result for Breast Cancer Awareness in the Algarve.

Thank you to everyone for taking part and very generously supporting the day.

It's Raining

It's October the 8th and we have just had the first rains of the winter. It couldn't have come at a worse time as it's the Pink Ribbon Golf Competition of Sunday 10th, tomorrow and the forecast is not good.
As usual in Portugal, when it rains, it falls by the skip full and I have just found out that the one flat roof I have, has 100mm of water trapped on it because the drain is blocked, always wanted a roof top swimming pool.
However, its still 23 degrees and we still haven't put the heating on.

The kittens managed to find a dry spot and decided to sleep the storm out, until I came along with the camera that is and disturbed their siesta.

Red Palm Weevil

Red Palm Weevil

There is an increasing number of Phoenix palm trees in The Algarve that are being killed off by the Red Palm Weevil, in fact palm trees across the whole of the Iberian peninsular are in danger of becoming infected, so far mine are weevil free.
Apparently the little bug(gers) arrived in 1994 and has been destroying Phoenix palm trees ever since. Now it has increased to such an extent that the local councils have started to put pheromone traps in the trees to try to catch them.

Getting Old

A message for those of us that are getting old.



Bugger it................


I've forgotten what it was.

Captain's Day

As I keep saying, these Taylor Made golf clubs are the dogs whotsits.

Last week was Captain's Day @ Parque da Floresta and with the help of my new Taylor Made Burner golf clubs, I was awesome. So much so that the clubs and I amassed 38 stableford points. This was enough to take first place and winning a Callaway golf bag and another cut in my handicap, which makes it a reduction of over 5 shots since I had the clubs only 3 months ago.

Still waiting for Monte to give me a ring and a late call up for the Ryder Cup squad but so far the phone has been quiet.

Played again on Wednesday and I was crap but had an excuse, had a tummy bug and didn't feel well.

Harrison's first day at school

Harrison Starts School

Meanwhile back in the UK, Harrison started school and today was his first day. He was very proud of his uniform, I hope the hat isn't part of it, bless.

Time to neck the parrot

Major trauma at Whittaker Towers, the spin dryer has packed up and had to be sent away, fortunately the sun is still shinning so my best undies can dry outside.
The freezer part of the fridge freezer has packed up and we are waiting for a spare part to arrive and to top it all, The Kittens have had great fun in scratching through the fly screen and ripped the netting and Dino - for the third time has found his way into the utility kitchen, got inside the washing machine (because the owner of the washing machine has left the bloody door open again) and chewed through the rubber door seal, now there's water everywhere. I think the parrot needs to go on a rinse hold then fast spin, that will sort him.

The Bandits Strike Again

It was exactly 12 months ago that Lynette had her purse stolen from her handbag and this week some friends had her handbag stolen too and the bandits get so brazen.
Our friend had called at the local cashpoint and put the cash in her handbag which she then put behind the drivers seat in the car on the floor. As her husband as driving, they then made another stop at a another supermarket some 10 kilometres away and whilst hubby went into the supermarket and Mrs Hubby remained in the car listening to the radio, the cheeky bastards opened the rear car door (which had now become unsecured from the central locking because hubby had got out) and quietly lifted the handbag and scarpered and no one saw or heard a thing.
Fortunately the handbag was recovered by a local Portuguese farmer the following day in a field as he was tending his sheep and goats and he was able to contact our friend and return the handbag, which had obviously been cleaned out of the valuable stuff.
They figured that they had been targeted at the cashpoint in the area of Lidl's supermarket in Vila do Bispo and followed to the supermarket in Budens when they made their strike.
It is not the first time that Lidl's in Vila do Bispo has been the spot where the bandits select their target and remove contents from their car. Last month a couple were asking for bogus directions to somewhere whilst the other persons then took whatever was on show inside their car.
In fact, it was Lidl's in Lagos that Lynette lost here purse last year and I think its about time that Lidl's took more responsibility and got Carlos the useless security guard that walks the floor inside Lidl's shops, should get his arse outside and made himself more useful.
Needless to say, all those concerned are pretty sure that the perpetrators, (I like that word), were of Eastern European origin.

Morgan's on the prowl, look out Tiger

After only his 4th competition, Morgan is on the Golf European Money list after coming second in the last junior competition of the summer at Parque da Floresta Golf Club. Although his 10 euro winnings is not enough to get him into Colin Mongomerie's Ryder Cup squad, he was absolutely over the moon to be in the prize money for the first time.

My friend Bob's youngest sister was 50 last week and she had a BBQ to remember.
Bob is the eldest of a large family originally from The Wirrall, Liverpool. Various brothers & sisters and their children came over from the UK and one brother, Brian came all the way from Australia to help "Our Cathy" celebrate.
Bob being "the organiser" had set up a pig roast for the barby and the fun was to kick off at about 4pm. We thought that we would give it time to "warm up" and arrived at around 4:45pm.
We had only been there a couple of minutes and hadn't even had time for a first drink when we were introduced to the pig roast. The pig wasn't up to saying a lot and looked pretty browned off with the experience as his master, "Carlos the roaster" was happily basting away. What hapless Carlos hadn't realised was that he had set his roasting equipment a little too close to the foliage of the adjoining garden behind a dividing wall. Still with no drink in hand, I asked, is there someone next door also having a BBQ on the other side of that wall", as I could see flames and plenty of smoke beginning to appear.
In a surreal moment from jokingly looking at the fire over the wall, we quickly realised that the whole place was about to go up in flames. Within a matter of seconds the tinder dry bushes was up in flames as everyone scattered fetching anything that held water. The nearest thing at hand was a number of large plant pots which of course had holes in the bottom and when filled with water emptied before we could get to the fire. A hosepipe was quickly found, but I could have peed faster that the water emerged from the end of the pipe.
Carlos the roaster with mobile phone in hand was by now dialing 112 and summoning the Bombeiros.
In between time, the flames were getting higher and higher, from somewhere, proper buckets appeared (without holes)as people filled them from the swimming pool and emptied them onto the flames. By now the fire has really taken hold and the buckets of water were doing little as people were unable to get close enough to throw the water due to the extensive heat.
Suddenly a large fire extinguisher appeared, followed by another and then another, just as the sound of the bombeiros sirens could be heard in the distance.
Wielding one of the extinguishers, Alan, a brother of Bob tackled the flames which were now over 12 foot high. Amazingly after a quick burst, the extinguisher did its stuff and along with the other guys wielding their weaspons, the flames seemed to be out and under control, only for the odd ember to simmer and relight. By this time a proper hosepipe with more pressure was on hand to dowse the remaining flames and completely soak the surrounding areas.

On the left a Bombeiros fire fighter, or is it a taliban terrorist, checking out the damage,

At this point the bombeiros cavalry were on hand just as the flames had been put out.
As you can imagine, Portugal being a very dry country (mostly) and is always on high alert at this time of year for any fires that become a problem. The next thing we know is that we have really hit the jackpot as there is a bombeiros helicopter above scouring the area immediately close by for any sparks that have blown further afield. The helicopter does a number of passes as he relays the information to the bombeiros guys below.
By now we also have a compliment of police who have arrived and are looking for those responsible.
Fortunately, one of the guests is solicitor Maria Dias who is quickly summoned to the investigation to help Cathy explain. This seemed to have a calming effect on the proceedings as the police were seen to be occasionally smiling, always a good sign but probably as they had handed out the fine ticket.

Hapless Carlos on the right, tries to explain to the Bombeiros why he put a pig roast with open flames next to dry undergrowth and over hanging trees.

By now its just after 5pm and everything is under control.
At this point, the man who always likes to be in control, my friend Bob, suddenly arrives at the party, wondering what all the fuss was about. The only comment he could make was, "I thought this was a birthday party, not a house warming".

Happy Birthday Our Cathy.

I have been getting nagged for a few weeks now about getting the windows cleaned.
As I am not prepared to fork out the 120 euros the robbing bugger charges, I said that I would do them myself, hence the nagging.
As you will appreciate, this is a highly skilled operation which can only be done when the wind is in the right direction and also working as the sun moves from east to west. I therefore have to start in the morning on the est side and finish later in the day when the east windows are in the shade.
All was going well and I was being very careful so that I would leave no streaks. With only a couple of windows left, I felt my back twinge. Being ever so careful and wanting to finish off, I gingerly carried on.
By the side of one of the windows we have a terracotta garden clock and just as I was finishing the last window, I was suddenly attacked by a swarm of wasps, which flew out from behind the clock. In panic I moved suddenly, jolted my back and put a disc out. In the process of stumbling away harassed by wasps, I got stung 5 times, twice on the leg, twice on the arm and once on my chin, little bastards.

So no golf today as I can hardly walk.
It will be interesting tomorrow as I fly to the UK to collect the grandchildren to bring them back to Portugal for a few weeks while Lynette stays here to parrot sit.

I'm still not paying to have the windows cleaned, better luck next time when I will wear my back support, as for the wasps they are all dead, except for the ones making a nest in one of the birds house and the ones that a making a nest in the cracks in the walls and the ones .......................

Had special dispensation from Ayatolla Hodson today to play early before the rest of the field in the Wednesday Texas Scramble golf competition due to going to Cathy's birthday party later in the afternoon, (you must read the later blog on Cathy's party). This meant that we were first to finish and therefore, leaders in the clubhouse.
And there we stayed all day long right until after the last team came in and we were still leaders in the clubhouse coming first in the competition, winning a fantastic 20 euros for each member of my team and only just behind Tiger in the overall winners money list, awesome.

Had a grand day out this week on a canoe.
A number of us got together and hired a canoe on Thursday which sailed from Portimao and headed up the Rio Arade for an hour to Silves taking in the local sites, grotto's, a sardine factory flamingo's, hundreds of storks and a trip around the harbour.
We didn't have to paddle the canoe as it had its own engine with Cap'n Carlos and his cabin boy at the helm complete with his own Vuvuzela. All the wine we could drink was provided along with some water to kill the taste, (it wasn't so bad). Those smarter ones amongst us also took along some beer and some more favourable wine.
Once in Silves we stopped for a couple of hours taking in a late lunch at a local restaurant and of course some more wine.
Two hours later, we staggered back to the boat for the return journey and a little more wine.



This is Lynette convincing herself that she isn't feeling sea-sick.

Boat trip 16 euros each, restaurant bill 26 euros a couple, priceless.

I don't believe that I have mentioned buying myself a new set of golf clubs. My good friend Liz said to me sometime ago, that if your opponent has invested in new technology and you are still using equipment that is 5-6 years old, then you are potentially already shots down against your opponent. Well she has proven to be absolutely correct as I have invested in some new Taylor Made Burner clubs and woods. I have only used them 4 times, 2 of which were in competitions. The 1st time time I scored 39 points and was cut 1 shot from my handicap, the second time I scored 42 points playing from my new handicap and was cut a further 1.8 shots, I was bloody awesome.

That was by far the worst performance of ANY football team in ANY league in ANY game that I have ever been unfortunate enough to watch.
Three Liona my Bum, I have 3 kittens here that would have shown more gutts than that shower.

After the last blog saying that we only had one kitten, plenty of brothers and sisters have now shown up and we have five in total, all looking more or less the same. Mowgli herself is getting braver and we are now able to touch her, but still getting a hiss off when we do, although she freely wraps herself around your legs. The kittens scatter back under the shrubs as soon as they see a human.


We had a few uninvited guests/pests this morning as the gypo's moved onto the land looking for snails. It hardly seems worth the effort as most of the snails are no bigger than your little finger nail and they spend the best part of 2 hours getting less than half a bucket full in the blazing hot sunshine and then another 2 hours winkling them out to eat, yuk. Apparently they are very tasty at this time of year as they pick them from the wild tarragon plants where they have been feeding so they then taste of aniseed, I think I'll stick to aniseed balls from the corner shop.

As mentioned in previous blogs about last winters weather and the incessant rain in Portugal, people kept telling me that the weather in the UK was worse and there has been plenty of rain also in the UK. Whilst Portugal does not have a clue how to manage many things they do know how to manage water. A new dam in the Alentejo region of Portugal (just north of the Algarve) was finished last year and was predicted to take 4-5 years to fil at the normal rainfall ratel, it filled in just under 12 months and I have just read that some areas of the UK have a hose pipe ban, told you it was wet.

Had great idea a couple of weeks ago, I thought to myself, I know I'll clean the windows. Being an absent minded old fart, I gave the windows a real good clean and they sparkled in the sunshine. Now one week later with grandchildren out here, I have more hand & finger prints than they have at Scotland Yard, I realised that it wasn't such a good idea after all, bless 'em.
And another thing, while I'm being a grumpy old grandpa, it dosen't matter which toilet I choose, I have yet to go without finding pee all over the toilet seat. Why can't boys be taught to lift the seat before they have a pee, never mind putting it back down again for the girls when you have finished, the girls never lift it back up again ready for us chaps, which would solve my problem.
Anyway, it was great having them and doing the things that we wouldn't normally do, like going to the beach, having a picnic in the forest, going to the zoo, wiping their bum when the call comes from the toilet, "I've done a poo".
They have now all gone home now and the place is very quiet, I was OK saying goodbye until Harrison said in the car on the way to the airport, "I'm going to miss you Grandpa", blub, blub.

Its all happening at the moment, the birds and the bees are very busy and unfortunately the wasps too as I have found a number of wasp nests around the garden.
The better nests that I have found are this one which belongs to a family of Woodchat Shrikes, apparently a species in decline. There were 6 babies in this nest and it was a bit crowded, I took this picture 2 days before they fledged. On the left is Dad Woodchat Shrike watching over the nest.
We also have Greenfinches and Goldfinches nesting in the conifers just outside the lounge door. I have put up a number of nest boxes but there is nothing in any of them, they all obviously prefer natural furnishings.

Mowgli the moggie has been very busy too. Last week we saw her chasing and eventually catching a rabbit/hare and then dragging it back to her babies, the prey was bigger than she was but she somehow managed it. It would have been a good time to follow her but we were otherwise indisposed. However, just 2 days ago we heard a different kind of meow and found her with a single kitten, emerging from the rocks down by the swimming pool, just need to catch them both now and take them to the vets for de-flowering.

Mum on guard watching over Lucky, lucky she didn't get eaten by the mongoose, or with ears like that, perhaps we should call her Bat Cat.

Result, sold the motorhome on ebay last week and got £2,000 more than a UK dealer was offering, less eBay's £43 fee. Trouble is, the geezer that bought it, (knowing from the very start as stated in the advert, that it was in Portugal), insisted on me taking it back to the UK pronto and as Niuck & Justine, Harrison & Finlay were coming out the following Tuesday, and I didn't want to miss being away while they were here in Portugal. So with some hasty arranging, I left Portugal Thursday afternoon to catch the overnight ferry from Santander to Portsmouth on Saturday, arriving back in Loughborough at 5:30pm Sunday. Handed the motorhome over to the geezer, who was from Bewdley, on Monday, got the bankers draft(he was a kind of a banker as well), he was most indignant that I wasn't going to fill the fuel tank with diesel for him to get home, t*ss*r.
Anyway, I already had his £1000 deposit before I left Portugal, so he had two choices, I left with the *anker's draft, sorry banker's draft for the difference, he had to stop and get some fuel on the way home.
It was quite funny when he left, as he had already told me that he was a driving instructor, obviously not a very good one as he failed to check if the motorhome was in gear, turned the key and oooops, a big jerk forward.
So, that was that and then on Tuesday caught the flight out to Portugal with Nick & the gang, complete round trip 5 days, me totally knackered.
Spent the following 2 days sleeping, going to the beach, playing with the boys and getting sunstroke.
Spent the next 3 days with the shivvers, cold then hot sweats, a kidney infection and feeling totally sh*te, but I was a complete martyr and wouldn't go to the doctors. I still have the cold sweats but at least I am now recovering.

Had Jose the JCB in this week continuing with digging a trench/moat around the perimeter of the land in an effort to make it more difficult for would be bandits who may have an eye for a visit and make a clearer defined boundary.
I think Jose was trained on the BP rigs in the Gulf as he has ripped through the bore hole pipeline and now we have water everywhere. It won't be an environmental disaster providing my plants don't suffer, meaning that I probably have about 3 days to get it repaired, which should be a dam site quicker than BP could manage.

Damage repaired, plants & garden safe.

May 14th 2010

Dino had an away-day today and went to the NECI special needs school in Prai da Luz to see the students. There are about 25 of them all with varying degrees of age and disability
Dino was brilliant and let each and every one of them have a turn at holding and stroking him and of course having their photograph taken with him, he'll do anything for a few nuts.
It was very special to see the reaction on their faces with only one who wasn't so keen but he still had a go.
Lynette did a bit of an introduction and presentaion and asked if anyone knew what kind of things Dino would eat (with an inturpreteur), expecting a reply of "nuts" or whatever that is in Portuguese. These students are smart, especially when one replied "food".
Next time we are taking the students horse riding.

May 2010
Oh Yes, now where was I?

Back home after a longer than planned 5 weeks away and having enjoyed better weather in the UK than we had experienced in Portugal over that last 4 months, but at least now the Portuguese sun is shining again.

We took a long slow drive back to Portugal taking a full 8 days to finally arrive home by meandering through the eastern side of France which we have never done before and had always wanted to do. I must say that overall it was a bit of a disappoint as it was not nearly as pretty as the our normal journey down the western side. It was more industrial and a shed load more expensive as most of the roads were motorway tolls and overall I think we spent over 150 euros just in toll fare.


I love the way the French prune their trees

However it did give us chance to sample Burgundy, Chablis, Beaune and that was just the towns, which of course was coupled with the obligatory sampling in each stop. The only time previously that I have been drunk at 10 o'clock in the morning is from the night before, this time it was fresh each day as we called at a number of Chateaux to sample their wines, although sampling a 40 euro bottle of Nuits St George at 10:30 is not the best time, however some might say there is never a bad time.


I needed a beer in Saint-Emilion to wash down all the wine, although Lynette couldn't get enough of the stuff.

Dino enjoyed the trip and even became a star at the home of Laithwaites wine at Castillion on the banks of the Dordogne.
http://lechai.blogspot.com/2010/04/great-weekend_26.html

The weather was good all the way with just a fine sprinkling of rain on one day with sun the rest of time and snow still visible on the top of the Pyrenees. Lynette again gave the driving a go and even managed to negotiate through the centre of....... which she did admit was a bit hairy as she has never handled such a long thing before??????????????????
After a journey of 1,992 miles (340 miles more than our normal route), I now need to jet wash the front of the motorhome to remove the 26,738 midges, flies & bugs killed along the way.

It has taken a full 4 days to empty the motorhome of all the stuff brought back from the UK and of course not forgetting the 22 cases of wine which was a bit of a weight problem, especially going over the Pyrenees when I was down to 10mph and first gear climbing up the hills. It was great to finally get to the top and then almost freewheeling down the other side, it was like putting your feet on the handle bars on your bike as a kid, Geronimo.............

It seems that we hadn't missed much Algarvean sun whilst away as it had been a pretty mixed bag with the rain still winning out overall. The seedlings that I left to mature couldn't cope with the cold & rain and most have had to be thrown away and I need to start again.

Mowgli, the moggie is still calling for her food although this is now down to one meal a day, usually in the evening. She has definitely had her kittens but despite trying to follow her, we still haven't found them, although we suspect that they are well hidden under the shrubs or rocks behind the swimming pool. It's well protected down there especially as the mixture on sun and rain has encourage tremendous growth in the garden and it now needs some serious heavy pruning, which I need to do right now.

But the big news is that Parque da Floresta Golf Club has allegedly been sold, however the staff of which there was around 300 at the beginning of the year have still not been paid, which is now over 4 1/2 months. This has obviously led to a number of them leaving to find alternative employment. The golf course continues to suffer and is beginning to look like a jungle, although I did see a guy on a mower last week doing his best but the resort now resembles a ghost town when it comes to staff. The word on Friday was that the golf course would not be open on Sunday as the only one left that knew how to work the tills and the computer was having a day off after working 35 straight days without a break and without pay. Whats worse is that the supposed new owners don't seem to be around or have any intentions of paying them anytime soon, its a total mess and a shambles.

Blog 3, Not so much Life in the Algarve
Oh, Yes, Now where was I;

Sorry it been some time since the last blog, been spending a busy few weeks over in the UK................

Had to make some decisions on the motorhome this month and as it needed an MOT, it was a good time to have a trip back to the UK. Coupled with the fact that Mum is going into hospita after her fall in November, when she smashed her face against a brick wall. After xrays and scans at the new Derby Royal SUPER hospital the same day, she was passed ok with no further damage. However, after complaining of severe neck pain for the following 4 months, she was sent back for a further xray. This time when viewing the xray, it was clear there was a fracture to the odontoid peg, which if you are unfortunate enough to be hanged, is the part of the neck that the hangman looks to SNAP. After complaining to the hospital, a review of the initial xrays clearly shows the fracture that the radiographers missed and even Stevie Wonder would have seen it, what totally incompetant useless wasserks, I feel a compenstaion claim coming on.
Since finding the fracture Mum has been walking around in something akin to what Jenson Button wears during his racing sessions until she goes into hospital to have a screw or plate fitted this week and as she has not been into hospital since having me 58 and a bit years ago, she is understandably terrified.
Anyway, the operation went well and Mum handled it brilliantly, going into hospital on the Tueday and being sent home on the Friday, as they don't like you in over the weekend if they can help it.
It is now 3 weeks since the operation, she is still in constant pain and there doesn't seem to be any benefit just yet.

It is now the beginning of September and the official end to summer was sounded off in The Algarve on Saturday evening as many coastal resorts had firework displays to say good-bye to all the summer visitors who had all most probably already gone home.
The grandchildren have now gone back to the UK and so to school for another term. Once again the place is like a morgue and the silence deafening, but at least I can take control of the TV and have the remote back in my hands.
Morgan & Alice have been here for 4 weeks and really are great kids, but you would expect me to say that. I know that they had a great time in Portugal with some brilliant memories. Probably the highlight of which was at ZooMarine. We all had a fantastic day and Morgan, Alice & Nanny got to swim with the dolphins.